Thoughts before The Day

24 hours from now, i’ll probably be feasting on lotsa good food, and become a ‘Mrs’.

How do i feel inside? It is a buzzing, itchy feeling inside of me… and i cant seem to pin point it to any particular emotion… Nervous, stressed, … excited, worried?

Saw the last of him in the wedding car just now… Pretty car decor i should say… =)

I had to blog about yesterday’s hen’s night. Being a fairy with wings, tiara and wand in esplanade and in a bar was the last thing i would ever do in my life. i still cant believe what actually took place last night but i guess that would remain as one of my most unforgettable night of my life. The disgusting alcohol included! It’s not what we did, but the company that meant so much to me. All of my dearest girls… from different cliques, coming together, laughing and having fun.

I felt so loved and i had to blame myself for not being good with words… cos i cant seem to thank them enough.. each and every one of them.

Thanks girls.. for taking time off to make me so happy… because i know you girls are really busy people! Thanks for the utmost efforts put in for this wedding. I promise with all my heart i will do the same for your weddings too!

I was telling the girls.. actually.. i dont think marriage life will be any much different from my lifestyle now, except that i have to be more independent? I dont have the answer now but i think i will find out soon…

I have this drifting feeling inside of me… as if i am on a perpetual high! I pray that tmw’s weather will be great, the entire wedding will go smoothly… everything will go as planned!

 

 

3 more days.

The Day is just 3 days away,

And i do not feel the slightest excitement at all.

Perhaps it’s PMS, perhaps i really had enough.

I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind and i wish that i could just run away alone to some deserted island to sort them out.

What exactly does a wedding mean to you?

To me, a wedding should mean the most to the couple. At the end of the day, i want to feel that the wedding is a sweet affair and i would like to keep the memories for life.

Everyone tells me, “What is most important is for both of you to enjoy your Big Day.”

Is it really that easy?

Ideas conceptualized, plans made. People who do not speak their minds but want things their own way. People who give comments and expect changes to be made just as if it is their own wedding. People who are inconsiderate and just aim to rasie problems and not offer solutions.

I had big plans. I want a small wedding with just family members and close friends. I want to march in to a ballroom where i see familiar smiling faces and not faces of people i dont even know. I wanted popcorn and candy floss machines. I wanted a lunch so that i could spend the entire late noon, evening and night quietly, reminiscing the happenings of the day.

Now it seems like my opinions do not matter that much anymore.

A wedding is not romantic at all. It is a whole lot of work. Is the effort worth it? Well, it depends on your guests. Is it to celebrate the love between two? HAHA. Welcome to the world. It is just a formality to please people around you. It is termed your BIG DAY because it comes with a whole lot of problems and frustrations. It is an occasion when people claim that they offer opinions, make plans and do things for the couple’s own good.

I always believed that i am someone who can work with others pretty well. I’m pleasant the diplomatic most of the times. This Big Day is a real test of my patience and i learnt a great deal.

3 major takeaways: I learnt that

1)  my opinions, if spoken, will cause aplenty unhappiness to people around me

2) it is more important to please others rather than myself.

3) it is not just about what you want. Wake up and welcome to a world with financial and relational constraints.

Having said that, this wedding preparations had also allowed me to witness true friendships. Friends who are very supportive and helped a great deal. Hello elaine. Thanks for everything. If my wedding is ever beautiful, it is because of you. Thank you for your love! You made me love you so much. =)

I am thankful to have friends who are ever so willing to offer their help since months ago despite the fact that i seldom have time to hang out with them… I’m so sorry i’ve been a bad friend. I promise to be a better friend next year!

I hope i can smile and be happy on that day. I hope i will be a happy and radiant bride with no worries.

I will really try.

i feel much better after typing everything out rather than crying myself to sleep. Blogging is a good way to vent one’s emotions afterall, especially when you cant voice them out to the people in question.

28th Nov… Big Day.

Say a little prayer.